I dare you to read this scary looking thing.

Today I was a real New Yorker. I literally ran all over the city and I yelled at somebody. I also wore a black dress and heals. And ate some pizza. Let me fill you in a little:

I was 10 minutes late to work because I could not fit my body on a train. Interning was fun and I am liking it more each day. Lots of good things. On lunch, I realized I had 4 missed calls, two messages, and maybe some text messages (add this to an email and some IM's when I got back from lunch). It looked like most of the calls were from Samantha so I called her before I listened to anything, hoping to save time if I needed to. Basically I was needed to work an event that I said I would work but then they didn't need me. But Jes was extremely sick and they seemed desperate. The event was black tie and I had nothing of the sort. So I ran down the street and bought one of the first black dresses I saw, in case I was able to get off interning early. I knew there would be no time to pick up something later. And I was right. I left at 3:00 and walked very quickly to the subway. I had to go home and be back at this place by 4:30, so I was in a hurry. Second time today I had to rush through the streets of NY hoping not to be late. I hate that. Well, I get to the train in good timing and am standing in front of the door, waiting for it to open when instead, it starts moving again. Leaves us. WHAT? Then an announcement comes on. None of the trains I need are stopping at that station. I didn't even think. I ran back upstairs and made my way seven streets up to the next stop. Well, apparently everyone wanted to be on that street at the same time. I was hustling like crazy, completey stressed out and upset. If I accidentally hit someone while I weaved my way around, I muttered, "excuse me". Well, for one woman, that wasn't good enough. I flew by her and she starts muttering "That's right just run in to me blah blah blah I am a cruel, heartless person..." Well, I just was tired of it. I am not walking like this for the fun of it. So, I stopped in my tracks, turned around, took a good stance and said, "EXCUSE. ME." Boy, I told her. So I kept walking, made some more people mad, but I got to the train. Seemed like I waited forever. I busted it to my room when I got off and dropped my bed on my back at 3:51. Twenty minutes behind schedule. But it's okay, I can get ready for black tie in ten minutes, right? Yes, I absolutely can. I got back on that train and got off at 4:26. Called Samantha for walking directions just as my phone was dying from all the stress it's had today. It was such a relief to see the people I was meeting, despite the sweat and painful feet I was enduring. We had some time to rest before we went to Battery Park and held up signs, directing lawyers where to go to get on the ferry to Ellis Island. I had a run in with a charicateur artist. He would not leave me alone, but I got rid of him. Because I am a smart city girl. Hm. The lawyers were nice and it was nice to make eye contact and smile and even talk to people. That does not happen here unless you want to get suckered into buying sunglasses and/or robbed. Eventually, though, I began to freeze, as we were by the water and my dress was not warm. Also, my feet! Get me some slippers and sweat pants, please. Samantha and I left eventually and went to Times Square, had some pizza, and met Caleb at the Starbucks he works at. He had more pizza from a meeting he was at. I got some free hot chocolate, and we got samples of new Starbucks breakfast sandwhiches. Then Samantha and I went to the subway and Caleb biked home. Well, after chatting with a nice theater student, we discovered we were going downtown and we needed to go uptown. How did that happen? We were just so tired, I think. Didn't even notice. Thankfully, we hadn't gotten on the train yet, so we walked around to the uptown train, only to find our cards had been swiped too recently and wouldn't let us in. We watched the train come and go, and we could do nothing about it. Seriously, public transporation was not good to me today. By the time the next train came around our cards were working again, so it was back on the freezing cold train. But now, I am in my bed wearing my pj's and I am so tired that I am considering not even checking my spelling. Huge, I know.

So there it is. In one, huge, not-very-appealing-to-the-eye paragraph. Congrats if you read it all and you are not my mom. I am going to read some Job and possibly some Screwtape, but I may be fast asleep by then. Can't wait.

Cotton candy is a fruit by association.

Well, I'm starting to feel the pressure. I am going to need some fruits and vegetables and some whole wheats and skim milks to enter my system. And can I please just go for a run? Now here's the thing, I eat at least one of those things once a day but I just cannot seem to get a balanced diet. Not on a budget of money and time. And I know that I could go run at 7 AM and that I should. That would work if I went to bed right after my 12-hour-long days. But I can't do that, because I have to blog. Just kidding. I have stuff to do...wind down, read, sit and not think. Or sit AND think if I haven't been particularly thoughtful that day. I am physically feeling this pressure, though. I'm not gaining weight, but I'm losing muscle and it just feels funny. I've been really good about fruit lately, but I gotta work on the veggies. I am re-arranging my time and money budget. Today I did not go to Starbucks. It was WEIRD! I can handle it, though. There is energy in other foods.

I would now like to end this part of this blog because I will not get sucked into the sickly skinny calorie counter's New York world. Seriously, fashion week felt a little like the Holocaust.

Here is what I did last night:

Reaquanted with A Rod. Told him to go back to the Rangers. I also ate a hot dog and some cotton candy. Sometimes, you have to do that. When you are at your first Yankee game is one of those times.

I bought a drawing pad and some colored pencils. So far nothing brilliant, but it's coming. I've also been "writing" with Garage Band. It's hard to write on a computer program, but a little fun. As with the drawing, nothing brilliant, but oh it will come. Some day. I believe it's been promised! When the good stuff comes I will fill you in on my creative pursuits. It feels good to get back to me.

I have to end this because Laura is telling me about new boyfriend and I am making her come see me. It's important!

I heart NY. I heart JL.

It's Friday! I am staying in. I cleaned and put on my pj's, ate a corn dog and some strawberry applesauce. I put together one of my favorite recipes and got a strawberry pastry in the oven. I am listening to Jonny Lang's new album on AOL. This man is singing for Jesus! Love it. Everyone HAS TO BUY THIS ALBUM. It is all good, but "Only a Man" is the most amazing raw, outcry to the Lord I've ever heard any artist, Christian or not, make. More good news...Grey's Anatomy is finally being sold on itunes. Yessss. I am about to watch last season's finale and the premiere that I missed last night. Sounds like a great Friday to me, sorry it's not more exciting.

On the home front, however, things are way more exciting. Homecoming game! Pep rally! Lauren didn't win but all this stuff she got to do just sounds so fun. I want to beeee there. My underarms smell!

On to the weekend!

Today, I am lame.

Hey. It's only 9:20 and I'm ready for bed. I can do most things New Yorkers can, but I can't do the late stuff. They eat lunch anywhere from 1:30 to 4:00 and dinner after 8:00. Sometimes I ate lunch at 11:15 in Nashville. The "old men" in Maddox went to dinner at 4:30. And the late night stuff doesn't happen until around midnight. I'm just so tired this week. And my eye keeps acting up. For a few weeks now, every once in a while my left eye goes crazy and turns red, is always wattery and creating "sleep". Gross, huh? I think it's because I recycle cheap contact solution. Again, gross. But it's killing me right now. Throbbing and stuff. I'm tired.

Last night I got to video chat with Judi and Erin in Nashville. Lauren called and I put her on speaker phone and we connected, tri-state. Pretty amazing. The video chat was so neat! I hadn't used it before. They also got to talk to BJ and Jes here in NY, so everyone was excited. All you people out there, get a MacBook and join the fun.

Today the Victoria Secret models were doing an in-store. This includes Heidi Klum, Gissele (spelling, who cares), and the one Laura says I look like. I didn't get a chance to see them, even though I work and go to school right by them. Would have been cool, though. I just wanted to say, "auf wiedershen". And yes, I did just look up how to spell that.

I've been watching free pilot episodes online of fall season TV. "Jericho" looks intense. I watched half of two boring sitcoms and quit. Right now I'm watching "Heroes". I'm not a TV fanatic, I think maybe that project made me want to watch. I am just in constant need of good stories. That's a whole other conversation, though.

I overdrew my account. Seriously! I didn't have enough cash on me to pay for a perscription. Mom said dad would put the money in Friday and they would pay for it. That became Sunday, Monday. Well, I had to buy it Monday, so I thought I'd have money by then. I overdrew $10. I forgot to turn in my timesheet last week, so I didn't get paid Monday. It'll just double up next week, which will be nice. I won't be eating out all week. That is strange, but I got a dozen eggs I need to eat, so it works out. College in New York City is just what you think it is.

Well, looks like rain this weekend. Darn.

Good day, good night.

Wow. I just got an intense craving for cheddar bay biscuits from Red Lobster. I don't know what to do about this; there is, in fact, nothing I can do. Man.

Well I thought I was going to church this evening, but Samantha called this morning and said, "Hey, are you going to Forefront?" which is the church I wanted to go to last week, she happened to want to check it out, too. Caleb was working. So I got up and ran out the door, practically. No time for shower. I got there 15 minutes late. Not bad, but missed worship. Everything else was pretty good, I guess. The sermon was a little simple, maybe, but sometimes I need simple. It was good stuff for me to hear at this moment. I've been very convicted lately about things in my life or perhaps the way I am living my life and thinking day-to-day. It's all stuff that sort of snuck up on me, I didn't realize it was bringing me down. And it's all simple things you'd think I would know but now I'm seeing them in new light. I am sad to say it will take time and persistence to effectively change these things and I am constantly having to tell myself "stop" with every other thought. If you will, I would appreciate prayers in the direction of...knowing exactly when I am being tested and having the strength to get through the big and small battles. This is more of a "shaping my character" struggle than "Oh Lord, this girl shouldn't be left by herself" struggle.

And yes, moving on. After church we went, where else, to a bar. I mean come on, y'all know me, that shouldn't be a surprise. There was a great sports bar in Times Square but the game Caleb wanted to watch wasn't on. So we went to one closer to where I live and watched all kindsa football and ate everything fried. Giants fans are loud. I walked out of there with throbbing ears.

Then I came back home and put on shorts and a t-shirt and TENNIS SHOES. Love those. Took a book and walked to Central Park. Before that I walked down 96th to check out where family might stay. I cannot figure out Central Park. It is such a maze, and I had a map. Somehow I ended up at the gates of the Garden Conservatory...right as they were closing. Nice. That's when I called Lauren but the girl ignores me. I swear, after all I do. So called mom to hear about Lauren's homecoming court dress. She will be beautiful....I WANT TO BE THERE. I'm growling right now because I am mad. So I just walked around and talked to mom, then came back and read a little for school. A book called "So You Wanna Be a Rock 'N' Roll Star" written by the drummer of Semisonic. It's good! I like it. How's that for a text book title? To think, sometimes I doubt that my life is wonderful.

Well it's a new week. I'm hoping to go for a walk/run in the morning, but I'm up later than I thought I'd be. We'll see. I'm excited a little for this week because something fun might happen Tuesday, and I'll tell you if it does. In fact, I will also show you, if it does. Ok. Bye!

The things I was going to do and the things I actually did do.

It's 2:15 AM. I'm not extremely tired, but this is bad news for Monday. I'll be tired Monday. But as for today...

I woke up and showered and asked more people to join my group for Lauren's homecoming stuff. I think we're up to 19 members now, including Brandon. I planned to go Target, the library, maybe read, maybe Apple store, and maybe FAO Shwartz. Well, I got a knock on my door and it was a friend named Amie. She wanted to go to Coney Island but, ended up going with me to Target. On the way there, there was a street fair! It was great; we bought pashminas for $5. Then we went to Target. New, bigger, closer Target in the Bronx. I spent $40 on food and John Mayer CD. No Chris Thile CD in a Target where half of the selection is Lation music. Ah, well. I got back around 5:00, too late for the library, so I cleaned and listened to music. I was going to watch a movie with Samantha and Caleb and friend, Shannon, from WI who lives here. I was going to cook dinner. But instead, I ended up going to a restaurant called S'mac with about seven Belmont people. All they serve is mac and cheese...I got four cheese with spinach and garlic. Then we went to a winebar called Winebar in a sweet part of the city. I tried learning a little about wine and ended up getting a glass of torte de tora maybe? I don't know, something medium and red. Mom and dad would have liked it. Afterwards we got on the train that was running backwards because of construction and accidentally went to Brooklyn. Thing is, the train was so packed, we all got on separate cars. My car happened to be absolutely crazy and innappropriate. I'll tell you about it if you ask. Thankfully, we were all smart enough to get off and find each other and say "WE ARE IN BROOKLYN. Wups." We got back eventually, and I put some cookie dough in the oven. I actually dropped the cookies in the oven, but that was alright. Best way to end the day, I think.

I just wish my weekends were longer because I like them. I am determined to use every weekend up since all of my other time is spent working. I suppose it's a good way to "ration" the city but, this city just needs no rationing.

Anyway I'm going to get ready for bed. Peace, y'all.

Royal!

See if you can imagine this:

I was sitting in the subway waiting for the next train, sort of zoning out, thinking about God and how I wish I could be consistently good. There were two trains going by in front of me, incredibly loud and frantic, then as soon as they passed it was silent, despite the many people waiting around me. Then almost immediately a horn began playing, very slowly, "Amazing Grace". And then, my world just stopped. The man playing was two tracks over from me and hidden by a pillar. I saw the end of the rusted silver horn he was playing on, but didn't recognize the instrument. I just sat there, looking at nothing, wanting to cry, but I'm fine with the fact that I couldn't. It was beautiful and everything was perfect. The next train didn't fly by until the last note finished. I happened to see the man for just a second after he finished. He threw his head back, he was Asian...I wondered if he loved Jesus, and I hoped he did. Then I wondered if he knew how Jesus had used him, despite this man's love or lack-thereof, to reach out to me. I think that's good stuff.

My supervisor brought me up in a meeting today. I jumped and got nervous when she said my name, but she told everyone about my TV project and how it was really good. Everyone seemed impressed and I was happy!

LAUREN IS ON HOMECOMING COURT! Awwww yeah. My sister, the queen. I would rather be home for that than almost any major holiday. If you want to support her, you can join my facebook group =)

Our class saw Kate Taylor, James' sister, in concert tonight. She was very nice and played some pretty good music. And she's related to music royalty, so that's cool.

Still, the rain sort of put a lull in the day. I've decided if I ever know anyone that's moving to New York and I can afford it, I am buying them the most expensive (if it's the best) umbrella I can find so it won't pop inside out or tear, some rain boots, and a rain coat. That's all you need, really.

Tomorrow this city is mine....rain or shine.

Dance like no ones watching...even when they are.

Today was sort of the same as yesterday, only I didn't take lunch. I ate one of the Starbucks sandwhiches while I worked hard to finish the TV project. Class was boring again because we talked about artist/management contracts. Top it off, it was rainy and dreary. I didn't take a shower and I wore tennis shoes. But a few good things did happen. We got out of class early. I started a group on facebook called LAUREN WHITE FOR HOMECOMING QUEEN and invited a bunch of people I didn't know. She might not even be in court, but at least it's funny. I'm talking to her right now and she is reading this right now...hi Lauren.

And a great thing happened. In the subway coming back from class, there was a great blues band playing and a pretty large crowd of people watching. There was what I would call a "dance floor" in front of the band. It was actually a huge space in between the band and the c-shaped crowd. Right. A dancefloor. Had I thought for a second, the next thing would not have happened. Thankfully, I did not think, only jumped in front of the crowd and started dancing. By myself. Someone took a picture of me. After that BJ said he was thinking that he was happy he knew that girl. As it is, I'm happy I know that girl, too.

This is what happened today.

I hate to say that my day wasn't an exciting or unordinary day. I made chocolate chip pancakes this morning and got on a refreshingly not-so-jam-packed subway to internship. I got right to work on my TV project which really made the time go by. Then my computer crashed right before lunch. I decided to deal with it after, so I ate my PBJ and walked to Bank of America at the Empire State Building about 4.5 minutes away. Then I got a white hot chocolate and read a little at Starbucks. Then back to work. Called tech support and got the computer fixed. I ended the day watching promotional videos for the show "Heroes"...the bad thing about this project is I want to watch TV now but I don't have one and if I did, class prohibits that. Maybe it's a good thing. Someone watch Heroes and tell me if it's good! So after interning, I walked around trying to decide what to have for dinner while talking to mom on the phone (hey mom). I then ran into Caleb and Samantha at the exact street corner I ran into another Belmont kid at the other day...while I was on the phone with mom. Weird? Turns out Caleb had three chicken salad sandwhiches for me from Starbucks. Yes! So I just bought a peach and a banana on the street for 85 cents. Then up to floor 63 in the ESB for class. Boring! All the other ones are good, but not this one.

That all said, today felt pretty boring to me. Um...I think I need to re-evaluate.

I slyly took this picture on the way home. That's why it's crooked and cropped and black and white; I couldn't get a good picture without them knowing I was taking it. The boy kept trying to read the paper and so his dad would lean in so he could "read". I couldn't stop starring! I know, I'm a creep.

The leaves, they are(n't) a changin.

Tuesday!

School 9-12:15; Internship 1-6; School 7-9:30. I decided I really wanted to buy Chris Thile and John Mayer's albums today after a listen on itunes. I found the nearest Borders, about a 15 minute walk from my internship, expecting to pay the online prices, total amount $23...not bad. It would have cost $32 in the store! I bought a nice dinner of really amazing fresh fruit and a brownie instead.

I got accused of being the type of person who goes for the albums that only ship one copy to the store when its released (Chris Thile, they couldn't find it) instead of the album that comes by the truck loads. That's who the sales clerk thought I was. But I'm not really...she didn't know I wanted to buy John Mayer, too. I'm sure that would have lowered my cool music snob factor.

I have a fun new project at Cherry Lane! I'm making a schedule of the fall lineup for all the TV stations. It will require me to watch promos and do research on the shows, then write out descriptions and ideas for the type of music we should pitch to them. I'm excited; I'll be working on it the next two days and it will give me some good practice, let me be creative to an extent, and get me in a habit of making music sonomous with other media. My only worry so far is that I think I might want to be a part of the creative process before the music is actually done. And also possibly go on tour or something. I just don't know...

The more I hear bad writers, and the more I hear good ones, the more I just want to write all the time.

We had a great speaker tonight in record company operations. He manages all the big acts that are signed with Cherry Lane; Black Eyed Peas, Will.i.am, Fergie, John Legend. He also managed Meatloaf and The Fugees. Pretty sweet! His job sounds super stressful but so fun. He was refreshing because he is interested in real talent, not the money makers. Think about it...Meatloaf? He takes risks, it's nice.

It was almost cold today. That's fine, as long as the leaves are changing, but they aren't yet. Looks like 80's for the weekend, though...I'll be in Central Park.

The will to walk.

It's 9/11 in NYC. We saw two lights shooting up where the towers stood tonight. Other than that, everything felt fairly normal.

I have started loving this city. It has so many different faces, and the last few days I've seen its good side. There certainly are sad situations, and I think I let those slowly suck my little portion of joy dry at first. I say little portion because, in relation to the joys filling heaven, my incredibly huge, brimming so much over the top and sides that it is physically visible when it is at its highest point amount of joy must really be so small. Perhaps there is a joy bank. And perhaps I actually do have access to every vault...imagine if we took advantage of every vault! I bet there is so much joy that goes to waste...Anyway, today I was joyful, and it made the city beautiful!

The Screwtape Letters is a book by C.S. Lewis that I am reading. In it Screwtape is a demon sending letters to his demon nephew, Wormwood, who is learning how to decieve his assigned newly-converted man. Everything is backwards; Jesus is "the Enemy"; joy is bad. I was reading today on my lunch break in Starbucks, in between text messaging Joey about his allegergies. He's really gross, by the way. Here's the best thing I read today:

"He (Jesus) cannot 'tempt' to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is please even with their stumbles. Do not be deveived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger that when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."

Tonight Sam and I went to Sip for dinner. It is a tiny coffee shop/bar/cafe with free wireless and half off food on Mondays. I had a ham, pesto, mozzerella, and sun dried tomato sandwhich on some really good wheat bread with a cucumber salad on the side. I also ordered some very amazing potatoes. All for $4.50! Sweet! Will definitely be going back.

Tomorrow three new things will be in stores: John Mayer CD, Chris Thile CD, Grey's Anatomy Season 2. Sounds like a good day for the wealthy.

And how could I have forgotten! I charged my ipod today at work. Music makes all the difference. I think I'm on the verge of a writing spree, even though I am void of all instruments. I'm creative though, right? I'll think of something...

I took a picture of a Duke Ellington statue today, but it was dark and didn't turn out. So here, my only photo from ground zero. I can't really look at it, but maybe you can.

Blogging, gardens, and cool churches.

I have never been a "blogger," partly because the word "blogger" is a turn off, and partly because I am not inclined to share my intelligent and/or stupid thoughts with an internet community. But this will be different! This will be an exciting account of my time in New York, mostly for my parents no doubt, and I won't be discussing my love for the color black. Also, I won't be making stereotypes.

Anyway, you may already know that I spent my Sunday in the Garden Observatory of Central Park. I slept through any hopes of going to church, I am sad to say. I stayed up too late last night trying to find a church to go to today. Anything that looked promising also looked like they were trying to be super hip, and I don't really need that. Although, the church I did ultimately decide to visit today (had I visited) lured me in with their free bagels and coffee. Is it bad the the thought of free food is more appealing to me than the thought of a "cool" church? I don't think so, actually.

Well, tomorrow starts my third week at Cherry Lane Music. Perhaps it will be extremely exciting. Let's hope so!