In Progress

How many people have learned this lesson before me? And how many times did they have to learn it? And how many times do I have to learn it?

This is why I like grace. Grace doesn't laugh at me when I mess up in the same way that I have messed up numerous times before.

I've noticed that I like to think about things that I can't control and then proceed to worry about them. I also like to use other words for worry like "ponder" or "think about things I can't control," because I know God tells us not to worry (Matthew 6:25 - "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life..." Matthew 6:27 - "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?")
but what I really mean by these semi-synonyms is "FREAKING OUT AND WORRYING". Did you like that sentence I just wrote? I'm worried it's very grammatically incorrect. AHHH!

I really have convinced myself that I'm not a worrier. But it hit me today on the subway that if I let these things control my thoughts, I am certainly a worrier. I try to plan, try to guess, and constantly wonder. But not in an imaginative way. In a FREAKING OUT way.

Anyway, I was reading about King David. His story is enough to hold my attention and wonder (in a good way) about who he was and how God used him. For about 12.5 seconds I got so immersed in King David that I forgot about my worried life and felt REALLY EXCITED ABOUT GOD. It was the best feeling of my day so far. I decided it was a really good feeling. And then I decided I wanted to just go ahead and keep feeling that way. Because it was so nice to let God have my worries for 12.5 seconds. But the worry crept up again, and that's when I entered the struggle between lies and truth. Oh boy.

The good news is God is stronger than me and God is Awesome when I am not. And...his strength is made perfect in my weakness! So I will rejoice in my weakness! So if I'm worried that I won't be able to stop worrying, that's okay, because I don't have to exhaust my own resources that will ultimately not even last a thirteenth of 12.5 seconds. I get to ask God for help, and because He is perfect and He loves me, He will help me. I love that about Him.

The best thing about not worrying this morning? I got to focus entirely on what was in front of me, without my thoughts wandering. And what was in front of me was a fresh cup of pumpkin spice coffee. And it was heavenly.

Disaster.

I decided I would make sugar cookies for Easter. I have an awesome recipe that requires time and skill, but really pays off in the end. The cookies keep their shape and the frosting is perfection, as documented in the photo of my boss's holiday gift:



So I thought I'd make some Easter egg shapes. I even bought some edible markers to decorate with.

I failed in the following ways:

Placed them too close together. They are now very misshapen eggs.
I stacked them overnight. They stuck together.
So I warmed them up a bit to loosen them. Now they are crumby on top.
I lost about 5 in the process.
I dropped the final batch on the floor.
I'm now down to 15 ugly cookies.
I'm eating the broken pieces.
I feel sick.

Now I'm trying to decide if I want to try to salvage them with icing. Normally, icing is when I fail the most, so I'm afraid if I try to ice these suckers, I'll end up a big sticky mess on the floor, bawling as I lick the spoon clean.

It doesn't help that I just watched the incredible season finale of Friday Night Lights, so I'm a little emotional at the moment.

So, sugar cookies? You win. I cannot dominate you. But I can devour you. So I win. TAKE THAT YOU CRUMBY DISASTERS!

Pop Candy!

One of my favorite blogs has featured me as the Reader of the Day!! CHECK IT OUT!

Lauren.

I guess everyone knows my sisters and I like to pick on each other. Or I like to pick on them. Or Rachel and I like to pick on Lauren. To be specific.

Well. The thing is, it is one way that we love each other. I jump on Lauren in the morning and laugh at her while she rolls around groaning for 10 minutes until mom yells at me to leave her alone. It's fun (for me) and I honestly only remember one time where she really, truly got mad at us for picking on her and that was when Rachel and I poured water in her ear to wake her up while she fell asleep writing in her journal in Africa. Wups.

But on the other side, we really have no trouble expressing our love for each other. We can say "I love you" or "I miss you" or whatever else potentially-cliche phrase there is, and mean it every time. Never does it teeter towards the empty words that the world has shaped them to become.

You might not know that. And that is why I'm telling you. Not that it's important for you to hear it, it's just important to me to say it.

Lauren and Rachel are what I call built-in-best-friends. Above all other titles besides Daughter of Christ, Sister is the one I pride most. I cannot convey the gratitude I have to the Lord for creating me to be the Big Sister. I am so thankful that He has imparted in me even a tiny bit of the Love that He has for them. His tiny is my huge.

Lauren is really going through a difficult season right now, and I don't think she'll mind me telling you. In fact, my main goal here is to ask you to pray for her, however you feel led. Anyway, I've been thinking lately not only of how much I love her, but why I love her. And I thought I'd share that with you visually.


Here we are at one of Rachel's volleyball games on Lauren's birthday. I made her wear this ridiculous shirt. And then...


I made her pose on the court. She's trying to make an awkward face...and she succeeds.
Lauren likes to have fun. She is fun incarnate. You can't not have fun with Lauren. To me, and awkward face in a homemade T-shirt on a volleyball court while everyone is starring at you...is fun. Thanks for having fun with me.


Lauren is so amazingly quirky. She scares really easy and she freaks out when you tickle her (I do too, but more on that later). This is one of her strangest quirks. She hates silverware. The sound it makes on the plates literally makes her cringe and shake a little bit. So she uses these plastic forks. She's unique. She's okay with it.


She's funny and she likes laughing. Lauren makes me feel like I am the funniest person on the planet. The only time I couldn't make her laugh was when Rachel and I poured water in her ear to wake her up...that was when I knew she was upset. But here she is being funny, mimicking mom while dad is driving. You don't have to see it to believe it - just look at Rachel's face. Lauren's funny.


She makes this face. I LOVE THIS FACE. This face says, "I probably shouldn't have done that..." (in this example, "that" is pretending to have a broken arm right after Rachel actually broke hers) "...but it's pretty funny anyway, right?" This face cracks me up and almost immediately makes me say, "Lauren!" in a "I'm slightly reprimanding you-but-am-still-happy-you-did-it" way.

Also this face. This is the tickling face. I know sometimes I shouldn't like this face, but I can't help it. How can you resist tickling when she makes this face?


And this face?



And okay. Sometimes I joke with her about her boy-like features as a child. Clearly, I am just jealous because look at her. Seriously, look at HER. She's adorable.

And this one.

Please take time to consider yourself incredibly blessed right now because you are looking at the most beautiful picture ever taken. This is it. THIS is pure beauty. I love this picture. And maybe that's because I love the person in it. But it's also this picture. She's something between exquisite and perfect.

That's not all, but I think it will do for now. Feel free to discuss Lauren in the comments because clearly, I have not said it all. Love you, sis.

Number 92:

"Successfully play a really awesome April Fool's day prank"

If you remember from the list, I let Lauren make up the last ten. Number 92 was her suggestion and now I need you to tell me if these pranks qualify as "really awesome".

I woke up yesterday with an idea to prank my co-worker:

And:

He loved it. The phone wouldn't pick up and the mouse wouldn't work. He spent a few minutes fumbling with the cords behind the computer before I told him to just turn the mouse over. We decided to play the same pranks on my boss...success. They tried to get me back by hiding my phone, but turns out I don't mind if my phone is gone because then I don't have to answer it.

But I wasn't quite satisfied. I really truly wanted to get Lauren, but figured it was useless and she would see it coming.

Until I remembered facebook.

And then I remembered her password.

Actually, I didn't, but I took a guess and got it right on the first try. It was a sign!!

I proceeded to change her picture and her status and laughed hysterically to myself for about 30 minutes before I felt kinda bad and texted her some clues:

B: Happy April Fool's day!!
L: You too! Are you going to do anything?
B: Yes. I already did. (I'm so ominous)
L: What did you do!
B: Check your mail.
L: Email or mail?
B: Email
L: I don't have an email from you on any 3 of my accounts. (3 accounts? Who does she think she is?)
B: Keep digging. The email isn't from me exactly...
L: Does it have anything to do with me needing to poop. You jerk.



So Lauren quickly changed her picture and status update.








But the thing is...











I knew that was coming....












So I took a screen shot for safe keeping...












Because I had to prove that this prank was "really awesome"...
















And now, here it is for the world to see. Feel free to click on it and enlarge for the best viewing:

And now all of you know that deep down inside, I am an 11-year-old boy who thinks immature jokes are REALLY AWESOME. Lauren has to poop HAHAHAHAHAHA!

So anyway. Lauren asked me if I hacked Rachel. I didn't see any point in hacking Rachel because I couldn't think of anything I could do to her that she wouldn't do herself, frankly.

Case in point:



BONUS: I fooled Monica and her fam. Nice!

Thing is, Rachel decided to keep the picture. She really does have an all star butt. Also, we talked on the phone for 20 minutes or so last night and this event never even came up. We're cool like that, me and Rach. She totally rolls with the punches.


That's why I pick on the middle child and not the youngest child. Rachel has some sort of older-sister-deflector-shield.


SO! You tell me. "Really awesome" or do I have to try again next year?