Thursday, January 03, 2008

Coming to America.

This is the inspiring true story about two ugly cousins journeying across the tumultuous seas from dinosaur-infested Germany to America, the land of beauty and hot dog carts.

Their names were Ludkhanna and Brunhilde Lienhardt. AKA number 24 and number 25 (at least that's what the Americans called them).

Please enjoy the following picture-story, beginning with the day they first boarded the USS Giganatee en route to New York City:

After eight months of living in 4x4 quarters with their own waste, Ludkhanna and Brunhilde finally caught glimpse of lady liberty.

Upon seeing Ellis Island, the girls could not wait to wait some more in a big room where they would hopefully be admitted into America.

Here is a special photo of a fellow immigrant. He was obviously in awe of what his future would hold. He was also cold.

After washing herself of her waste, the first place that Ludkhanna wanted to go was the famous Times Square.

Soon, the girls noticed they were ravished. They found solace in the German word, "wienerwurst," but they were more intrigued by the "Old Kentucky Whiskey".

[photos of Whiskey drinking not found]

But before we continue with the story, let us remember first where the cousins came from:
'Twas a dark, scary place. Where dinosaurs roamed the earth. Lundky tried to fend of the ferocious monster with a mysterious light that sometimes spoke at her and called her, "Ena".

Brunhilde, however, had no such mysterious light, and was forced to sing lullabies to the monster. The monster actually fell in love with her because he mistook her face for that of a fellow beast.

It was also severely cold in their home country.

Brunhilde skinned a 'coon to wear on her head to keep her warm and to make a fashion statement.

The girls missed their family from their home country. Here is Brunhilde in the last photo ever taken of her and the uncle that riased her, Edviener.

Ludkhannah had a much larger family. With 25 brothers and sisters, Ludky was the first to leave home.

Now, back to Ellis Island. Unfortunately, Brunhilde did not know how to write. Or hold a pencil. She is listed in the annals of Ellis Island history as: "~~~\/~ kumquat"
A young american on-looker could not believe her eyes.

Ludkhanna could write well and she laughed in Brunhilde's face shortly after this photo was taken.

Brunhilde was so excited to see the American Flag that she wanted to eat it.

Ludkhanna was still hunched over from the 4x4 living quarters.

Ludkhanna loved the underground tunnels so much, that she often danced around with the poles.

When the cousins realized they had only been eating flour and water for eight months, they decided to test the local fair. Brunhilde swallowed the triangluar meal in one bite.

Ludkhanna was mezmerized that a pig could be so small on a piece of bread.

The cousins realized their options for settling were limitless. Ludkhanna wanted to see Indian Territory. She heard they didn't wear underwear.

Ludkhanna could not believe the people were frolicking on a pond in front of an ice god.

The two cousins decided to board at the glowing pink mansion, Hotel Barbie. Ludkhanna lost her key and got trapped on the left side of the Barbie sign.

Ludkhanna also enjoyed shopping at a magical place called Chelsea Market.

The girls were having a WICKED awesome TIME, and even made friends with a DRAGON (Brunhilde refrained from singing lullabies).

In conclusion, America was a transforming place from this....

to this:

Henceforth, the girls are called "Paris" and "Brit Brit."



Anonymous said...

You bear an uncanny resemblence to the old picture of the cousins. Hilariuos story!

Christine said...

I'd really like to know how that "no-underwear" rumor got started.

And girls! What was with the lady in the Chelsea market photo!? Suicide bomber??!

Anonymous said...

Okay, this was really fun to read. Especially when I figured out the first picture was a fake. Halfway through the story. However, it became even more fun when I figured out you could click on the pictures to enlarge. (Had to find out what Christine was talking about. Whew! Glad you guys got out of there.)I liked the last picture, looks like you all had fun and big city life has changed the cousins for the better.

Aunt Gullible (Do not click-to- enlarge Brunhilde eating pizza. Just don't.)

Anonymous said...

Wow! I finally found it!! What fun. I was almost a believer!!! Are you warm yet?
Thank you, enjoyed it very much and stand in awe of those two cousins who are also great granddaughters!! Grnadma